selfdoubtandsyphilis: dankestrnemes: do animals think in english or in the sounds they make this is what yahoo paid $1.1 billion for
starksexual: i was at the bus stop with my sister the other day and for no apparent reason, she says: ‘dude, there are more dead people in the world than living people’ and the woman standing beside me whispered ‘holy shit’ and i fucking lost it
Everyone at my school's idea of a relationship: Someone asks someone "Will you go out with me?" and the other person says yes. They hug in the hallways, hold hands in the morning before the bell rings, and they kiss at lunch. They say "I love you" after two days. The whole school agrees that they are the cutest couple ever and hopes that they will last.
My idea of a relationship: You start talking to each other and is in the "talking stage". One person asks you to go a date with them. You guys go a few more dates. You guys are dating. You guys act like a couple. You hug, you hold hands, you kiss. One person asks you to be their boyfriend/girlfriend. You guys are now officially a couple. You're in one of those relationships where you don't announce it to the whole world but you won't deny it if someone asked. You guys are comfortable around each other, you hang out outside of school. You say "I love you" when the time is right and when you actually mean it. You have a threeway with Satan. You agree that all other mortals are no better than the mud caked to your collective shoes and sacrifice the whole of your school to the Dark Lord as per his request mid-coitus. You rule the charred and ruined remains of your homeland with an iron fist. Together <3
pukingonpigs asked: I notice we both work in sex shops
Just another night on the job.
Oklahoma…….. …..DEY GONE!!
dad: What's that movie your grandma likes with the trolls?
me: [LMAO] LORD OF THE RINGS?
dad: Haha yehhh! Are they not trolls?